I have always known I wanted to go abroad. Leaving your family, your friends, your culture, and ultimately your own bubble to turn an entirely new environment into a home is such a beautiful journey of finding yourself again and redefining your values. The challenge of the unknown was so intimidating that it intrigued me: I was one decision away from a completely different life. I made that decision and took a leap of faith, expecting nothing but a worthy experience. After a year having been in UC, I now know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Although I understood that with growth comes discomfort, however beneficial it is, my first few months in UC were very humbling. Leading high standard projects I previously knew very little about, with people I had just met, while trying to find my place and my passions in the university was overwhelmingly interesting. I hardly said 'no' to new opportunities because of my eagerness to live everything, and that led me to always being busy and eventually burned out. The unknown took me away from my comfort zone, where my old hobbies (and the old Vitoria) were. The biggest challenge was not adapting to the new environment; it came from within. It came from honoring my past self and still letting it shine through a whole other life.
I started reflecting on what made me Me. For example, I have always been very much into art – music, particularly. I am fascinated by how we express music through our bodies, whether that is playing it or dancing to it. Dance classes were part of my routine for 12 years and yet it never failed to evoke my most vulnerable and genuine essence. Overcoming the limits of your body and mind to tell an unspoken story was a journey of self-confidence, diversity, boldness, trust, and deep appreciation. Then, this passion was extended to playing the music I previously danced to and expressing these feelings through the resonant sound of a classic guitar. Ultimately, I felt most connected to my true self while doing such activities, as well as journaling, going out for walks under the sun, laying on the grass, and even speaking and thinking in a different language – everything I had to time or chance to do in college.
I was so worried I would not find a home in UC that I ended up sacrificing what a home meant to me in Brazil. I completely redefined it by living in the autopilot and trying to be perfect. I had gotten where I wanted to be – what now? I succeeded in classes, was involved on campus, had a good social and academic life balance, but something was missing. While I tried so hard to keep me from my comfort zone and my past to fully embrace my new phase, I left a part of myself behind. To realize that and to get her back was not an easy path; it took me months of self-reflection, of holding myself accountable, of being vulnerable, of resetting the meaning of relationships, of distance, of love, of connection. 'And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.'
I was home again. It was freeing to understand that it was more of a mindset than a place; as soon as I found my happiness and confidence from within, while truly seeking beauty in the people, in the culture, and in the nature that surrounded me, I could attract home wherever I was. Looking back, however, is such an important and underrated part of the journey. It has never been about being stuck in the past, but instead being grateful for it and carrying its lessons to the future. Although I have failed myself by living in the autopilot, I claim all of my mistakes. I signed up for all of this because I wanted to feel the discomfort, the vulnerability, the embarrassment, the loneliness. The pain is good; it forced me to become more introspective and finally find myself again after getting lost in the way.
After taking this all in, I acknowledge the importance of my stubbornness, my intuition, my willingness to change my mind, my faith in destiny, my optimism, my 'Brazilian way,' my past, my fears, and my disappointments. It all brought me to where I am today. I made it. I am still tasting my win and great things are yet to come. The unknown is still so intriguing to me and this curiosity keeps me alive. I will keep pushing myself to be better, to raise the bar, and to prepare for what is next, but still making some time to lay on the grass on a sunny day, to dance to the music playing in my headphones when I feel like it, and always reflect on myself and where I came from. My identity. My culture. My former bubble. My first home.
Obrigada!
Although I understood that with growth comes discomfort, however beneficial it is, my first few months in UC were very humbling. Leading high standard projects I previously knew very little about, with people I had just met, while trying to find my place and my passions in the university was overwhelmingly interesting. I hardly said 'no' to new opportunities because of my eagerness to live everything, and that led me to always being busy and eventually burned out. The unknown took me away from my comfort zone, where my old hobbies (and the old Vitoria) were. The biggest challenge was not adapting to the new environment; it came from within. It came from honoring my past self and still letting it shine through a whole other life.
I started reflecting on what made me Me. For example, I have always been very much into art – music, particularly. I am fascinated by how we express music through our bodies, whether that is playing it or dancing to it. Dance classes were part of my routine for 12 years and yet it never failed to evoke my most vulnerable and genuine essence. Overcoming the limits of your body and mind to tell an unspoken story was a journey of self-confidence, diversity, boldness, trust, and deep appreciation. Then, this passion was extended to playing the music I previously danced to and expressing these feelings through the resonant sound of a classic guitar. Ultimately, I felt most connected to my true self while doing such activities, as well as journaling, going out for walks under the sun, laying on the grass, and even speaking and thinking in a different language – everything I had to time or chance to do in college.
I was so worried I would not find a home in UC that I ended up sacrificing what a home meant to me in Brazil. I completely redefined it by living in the autopilot and trying to be perfect. I had gotten where I wanted to be – what now? I succeeded in classes, was involved on campus, had a good social and academic life balance, but something was missing. While I tried so hard to keep me from my comfort zone and my past to fully embrace my new phase, I left a part of myself behind. To realize that and to get her back was not an easy path; it took me months of self-reflection, of holding myself accountable, of being vulnerable, of resetting the meaning of relationships, of distance, of love, of connection. 'And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.'
I was home again. It was freeing to understand that it was more of a mindset than a place; as soon as I found my happiness and confidence from within, while truly seeking beauty in the people, in the culture, and in the nature that surrounded me, I could attract home wherever I was. Looking back, however, is such an important and underrated part of the journey. It has never been about being stuck in the past, but instead being grateful for it and carrying its lessons to the future. Although I have failed myself by living in the autopilot, I claim all of my mistakes. I signed up for all of this because I wanted to feel the discomfort, the vulnerability, the embarrassment, the loneliness. The pain is good; it forced me to become more introspective and finally find myself again after getting lost in the way.
After taking this all in, I acknowledge the importance of my stubbornness, my intuition, my willingness to change my mind, my faith in destiny, my optimism, my 'Brazilian way,' my past, my fears, and my disappointments. It all brought me to where I am today. I made it. I am still tasting my win and great things are yet to come. The unknown is still so intriguing to me and this curiosity keeps me alive. I will keep pushing myself to be better, to raise the bar, and to prepare for what is next, but still making some time to lay on the grass on a sunny day, to dance to the music playing in my headphones when I feel like it, and always reflect on myself and where I came from. My identity. My culture. My former bubble. My first home.
Obrigada!